(CNN) -- If you're sick of all your tech-literate friends bragging about their digital stature -- Twitter followers, Google+ invites, Klout scores -- then you will love McSweeney's list of pick-up lines "for the modern Internet persona."
Keep in mind that these lines are designed to be purposefully "ineffective." But that shouldn't stop you from trying a few out in a Silicon Valley bar. If you do, please -- really, please -- report back to us on whether you get any would-be dates to look up from their smartphones and crack an analog smile.
Here are some excerpts from the list:
-- "Give me your number and I'll throw in a Google+ invite. I'd put you in my 'Babe' Circle."
-- "My Klout score is an 83, which makes me a Thought Leader ..."
-- "My U.S. Alexa ranking is 22K, which is fairly impressive for a blog about soft cheeses ..."
-- "Do you come here often? I do. I'm the Foursquare mayor, actually, which means I come here more than anyone else. That reminds me, I need to check-in ..."
Forbes writer Kashmir Hill apparently found this pretty funny, too. She wrote a list of her own digital-era updates to classic pick-up lines.
Here's one of her updated lines:
Original: "Do you have a quarter? I need to call my mother and tell her I've met the woman of my dreams."
Digital version: "Could I borrow your smartphone? I need to post a Facebook status update that I've met the woman of my dreams, in order to make all the ex-girlfriends I'm still Facebook friends with jealous."
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