Monday, May 18, 2015

The strange tech of Taylor Swift's Bad Blood video


The strange tech of Taylor Swift's Bad Blood video

If you are a human being on the internet then you can't have failed to notice that Taylor Swift has released a video for the weakest song on her album.

We were expecting everyone and their aunt to be in it but were we expecting all this futuristic-if-this-was-the-90s Minority Report meets Tron style tech to be in it? No, we were not.

So here's a quick rundown of The Tech Of Bad Blood Because Look We Just Wanted To Be Involved, Ok?

1. Office computers

Office

Probably running Vista.

2. Desk phone

Desk phone

Possibly some kind of VoIP set-up, we'll have to check with IT.

3. Machine like that one in Prometheus that always fixes you up

Table

Even if you are dead from falling out of a window. This one also does your make up; must be the next model up.

4. Kendrick Lamar's computer table thing

Table

Like a Microsoft Surface Table, it might seem like a good idea on paper, but where are you going to put your cup of tea?

5. Microphone

Microphone

Not sure where this is being broadcast. Maybe directly into Taylor Swift's brain?

6. Whatever's going on here

Hair dryers

Hairdryers?

7. Compact mirror ninja stars

Ninja stars

Because, like, she's a girl?

8. A see-through car for some reason

Car

Doesn't seem practical but comes with Tidal built-in.

9. This booth thing

Box

It's full of snow later on so it must be some kind of training module.

10. High-tech boxing ring

Boxing

Or maybe it's just beams of red light, hard to say.

11. Fancy motorcycle helmets

Helmet

Where possible, make a U-turn.

12. Lightcycles

Lightcycles

I guess now we know who the winning bidder was.

13. Google Glass v.83

Google Glass

Proof that it will literally never look good on anyone.

14. Smart Bazooka

Bazooka

Probably connected to Ellie Goulding's fridge and programmed to go off when she's out of milk.



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